I think this section is especially good . . and convicting for me personally. Once again, you can leave your thoughts as comments on this post - just put the number of the question by them so we know which ones you are discussing. The summary of the reading can be found at http://amblesideonline.org/CM/Summary1.html for those of you who don't have time to read.
1. Page 13 - I don't think CM means here so much "children are born law-abiding" as she does "children are born with a conscience", from what she offers as her explanation of that phrase. For anyone who has older children, what are you doing to help them in the area of conscience and how to confess their sin to God and to ask you for forgiveness? Is there any help you can offer those of us with younger children as we begin on this part of the road? What can we do specifically to help them understand the things they must not do because they're wrong and not because Mommy doesn't like them?
2. Page 15- How can we help our children to understand that we are law governed as well, under God's authority as we discipline them? Do we have options regarding the things we do or don't let them do or are there specific Scriptural principles that we have no choice but to follow? In other words, what are the laws that are governing us in disciplining our children?
3. Page 17 - "Children should have the best of their mothers" - obviously, this section was written during a time when many children had nurses to care for them, but how does this idea translate into our world today? How can we encourage each other to use our energy to make sure our children are getting the best of us?
4. Page 19-20 talks about the fact that children's faults are serious and they are capable of sinning as well as having a relationship with the Almighty God. How do you agree or disagree with these thoughts? What Scriptures relate to children's capacity for faith? If your church thinks differently than you do, how are you handling this?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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9 comments:
#1 I have found that my attitude means everything in disciplining my child. Do I act as if his disobedience/rebellion is an affront to me? If so, I will be angry and discipline in that attitude. Do I act as if his disobedience/rebellion is an act against God (on whose part I am acting)? Then I discipline with a seriousness and firmness that is generally very well accepted. I am acting "under authority."
Some days I do well at this; other days I fall flat on my face. I'm sure you all can guess which days my child is more content and obedient.
#3 I don't really know how to answer this one. My kids get all of me, not just the best of me. However, I do try to keep activities to a minimum because, at least right now, getting out and about seems to put too much stress on us and wears me out. :-) Days spent at home are much more relaxed and calm.
#1 - What Rachel said.
Even though Carolyn is only 18 months, we have her say (sign) "I'm sorry," and I say (for her) "I'm sorry for _____, Mommy. Please forgive me." Then I tell her I forgive her, and we pray for God's forgiveness. (This is all after appropriate disciplinary measures.) Now, she knows what's coming, and as soon as I sit down with her, she either signs "I'm sorry" or grabs my hands to pray. It's a small thing, but it's a good start.
#2 - For one thing, it's important that discipline is not an option. If I let discipline slide when I'm busy or don't want to deal with it, then I'm teaching that disciplining Carolyn is my choice and not my duty, and Carolyn is learning that whether or not she has to obey depends on my mood.
#3 - One thing I try to remember is that I need sleep. If I stay up late doing something fun while Carolyn is in bed, I'm going to be tired and not my best when she wakes up early the next morning. Giving her the best of me sometimes means denying myself so that I'm ready for her.
#4 - This is why we pray with Carolyn as part of her discipline. Though her comprehension may be limited, she will have the habit of seeing her sins as offenses against God. Lately, when we pray at meals and in church, she's been babbling out her own prayer, followed by an "amen." I know she understands much more than she can say at this point. Who am I to cast doubt on her budding faith?
Misc - One other strategy I use to encourage myself to be consistent with discipline. . .
When I'm tempted to smile at some disobedience (because she's almost ALWAYS cute anyway ;-) Right?), I say to myself, "This is sin. It will not be cute at age 13. It is not cute now."
I have just started teaching Nathan to pray after he has been disciplined. I used it as a "last resort" for a while or when he would tell me that he did not want to be good (we would pray that God would help him want to be good), but I am seeing the importance of doing it every time we deal with disobedience. I think starting children in the habit of turning to God is very important. In my own life I see myself forgetting to turn to God first (just as I did in my disciplining), and I hope that teaching this habit when my children are young will help them remember God first, not just when they've come to the "end of their rope."
#2-One more thing, really. But not my thought, this time. I posted this quote at my blog, but it really applies here: "As a parent, you have authority because God calls you to be an authority in your child's life. You have the authority to act on behalf of God. As a father or mother, you do not exercise rule over your jurisdiction, but over God's. You act at His command. You discharge a duty that He has given. You may not try to shape the lives of your children as pleases you, but as pleases Him." (Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp)
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